50-19

The Coffee Phenomenon

When I break down and make myself a cup of coffee at work I'm usually in crisis. I'm talking waking up after falling asleep for a few minutes and praying no one saw and or heard me.

But, even with this very infrequent habit there are specific steps that I run through.

Step 1: The Search for Hazelnut


I figure with my infrequent coffee consumption, there is no need to settle for regular coffee when I could have my favorite. At work, we have Keurig coffee machines. The cabinet underneath is filled with flavors. I go searching for Hazelnut. Usually if I can't find Hazelnut, I settle on anything. All regular coffee tastes the same to me.

Step 2: The Cup


Just after 8am all of the cool mugs are gone. We have two types. You can take a guess at the cool one.

 

Step 3: Hot Coffee
Warm. Energizing.

Step 4: Cold Coffee
I never can seem to finish a cup before it gets cold. Solution: add ice and get my very own specially sweetened iced coffee.

Step 5: Give up
Cold watery coffee is just not tasty.

49-18

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye


Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light...


This weekend, my husband and I have to go through a packet. A packet of choices. We have to make lists of priorities, places. Then we have to give it away. Our list of preferences will then be compared to hundreds if not thousands of others. 


In the fall, we will know.








Lyrics from The Call by Regina Spektor

48-17

Mind the Gap

My husband and I lead a small group on a campus near where we live. By near I mean under an hour drive [unless a van has somehow driven off the road and a state trooper walks in front of your car on the highway, hand outstretched, demanding the careful and quick attention of your breaks]. I arrived today without my husband. Early. Ready to talk about the articles for the week. I walked with and among the throng of lively young students, stopping for a couple on bikes riding down a sloping sidewalk. I walked into one of the student union. Where people come to socialize and study, for a snack or a performance. Two years out, I feel like a foreigner wandering through a crowd of strangers.

I think back to the years of standing in a doorway, knowing that what I did here was preparing me to walk through to the other side. I’ve been to the other side now, only to realize that I’ve simply found myself another doorway, waiting impatiently for the opportunity to walk through to the other side. But all of life is a doorway, maybe even a window at times. Pointing to what is beyond where we are, but never quite letting us get there.

As I sit listening to the murmur of hurried conversations, a view of food, iPod earphones, book bags and computers increase my distance. I wait for an epiphany that will not come. I realize how much I don’t belong and I wonder then where I stand. In the gap? Ah, but the Brits say to watch for that. The gap between past and present is a dangerous place to stand for too long especially if the past is filled with daydreams of a future unfulfilled and the present is a reminder that some of those fulfillments will never come.

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.