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"Where could darkness as dark as this have come from,
too far to see but we know we can sense that it exists,
and how can I do anything but run from
the will to fight a fight for which I feel so ill-equipped..."
- Relient K "What can I do?" from the Freedom CD

Last spring, I gave a statement of calling. I guess it was supposed to be a statement of me announcing my calling and what the year had taught me about such things, but as I stared at a blank page I realized how ill-equipped I was to speak about the calling in my own life.

I opened with a photo of a pile of puzzle pieces on a table. I said about my calling, "I’ve got separate pieces that I think are important enough to be in the puzzle, but I don’t know how they’ll work together or what the picture is going to look like."

My pieces: Writing, Graphic Design, and Women

Lately, I've been thinking about that last piece. I've been ignoring it, mostly because I feel unqualified to do what I want. But this piece is so critical. I couldn't explain in a few words the depths I've come out of and the many times that I've been at the end of myself only to be pulled through. In the end, it isn't about qualifications. It's about not leaving others alone in the darkness.

I've been blessed with a day off in the middle of the week. I hope to put it to use.

"...If this didn't horrify me I'd be heartless,
but every night I lay here paralyzed.
No, I won't be consumed with all this darkness.
Instead, I'll find surprise within the light..."